The New Sense

Friday, July 05, 2002

Uuurgh. Major morning sickness. In fact I felt kind of queasy all day. Olga kept looking at me sideways; you can hear the wheels turning in her head, but the gears keep jamming before she realises what's up with me.
I had planned to go out with Kelly this evening but she cancelled on me at the last minute because she has a blind date. I'm kind of pissed off with her. How can you get a blind date at the last minute?
B— was quiet this evening. I finally managed to get something out of him about his adoption search. He said that he's expecting some info in the mail any day now. Theoretically even a copy of his birth certificate signed by his real mother. I asked him if his search was related to his sense and the Sean situation.
"Of course it is. I need to know if there are others like me. What are their lives like? Do they even realise how different they are? Maybe there'll be enough of them that we'll find safety in numbers and can let regular people know about our sense without fear of persecution."
"So you'll have to go back to BC to track them down."
"Maybe. Maybe they're from somewhere else originally, or maybe there won't be any, or maybe I'll decide it's safer not to draw attention to them by getting them involved."
"But what if they just aren't very aware of the sense? Wouldn't it make their lives easier to leave them in ignorance? It is bliss, you know."
"True, but unfortunately Sean isn't ignorant. And besides, I actually think that my sense is a blessing, not a curse, so I have no problem 'training' any relatives I find who don't know they have it. You know I really get to see the world in a different way, which has an amazingly positive effect on how I deal with life. I'd like to share that with others. I think there's something to be gained from it."
"Well I haven't learned much."
"So let's start. If you're going to have that baby you should be able to answer some of the questions it might one day have about all this stuff."
"No, first of all I want you to answer me truthfully about something that I've asked you before."
"Go ahead."
"Where does your money come from?"
"That's really funny," he said without laughing. "There's a whole world of insight you could explore with me and the first thing you want to know is where I get my money."
I felt a bit sheepish about that. But I really wanted to know.
"Please. Is it such a strange question?"
"No, it's not strange at all. Maybe money would be as important to me if I couldn't get it so easily."
"Stop teasing me and tell me."
"Okay. I get it at casinos."
I wasn't expecting that as an answer. " What do you mean? You steal? You can open the safe with your mind? Or you can see just far enough into the future to predict where the roulette ball will land""
"No!" he laughed. "I've not got telekinesis and I'm not psychic, I told you. I'm not some creature from the X-Files either. I just have a sense which is more developed than yours."
"So?"
"So, I can sense the ink on the playing cards."
"What? But ink weighs nothing! You're making this whole thing up."
"Seriously. Ink does weigh something; just pick up an empty printer cartridge and a full one. I just have to focus in on the cards to tell what they are."
"I don't believe you."
"Imagine that they were printed very, very faintly. You'd still be able to see which card was which even if it was printed at, say, two percent of the usual saturation. Your sense of sight is so attuned that you'd still be able to pick out most of the cards even with a very faint contrast between the ink and the background."
"I guess."
"So that's how I do it. It's the difference in weight — the contrast — that I can detect." I still didn't believe it. He went on: "Look, I need more money, so we'll go to the casino tomorrow. Have you ever been?"
"No."
"Me neither. I came to Montreal with a huge pile of cash but it's almost gone now."
Again, I really didn't want to believe what he was telling me. Not the words; they made sense. No, it was the world he was presenting me that I didn't want to believe in. Despite the hormones, I'm pretty rational, and I'm really having a hard time with this.

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posted by Sara