Saturday, August 03, 2002
B— is trying to be nice, but I'm a fucking nervous wreck. I feel like I've been violated. I'm scared to go outside, and it's fucking hot in here. How the hell did I get into this mess? Molly called and I had to lie to her, which I hate. I told her B— and I were making the most of the hot weather to stay naked all weekend, which she of course appreciated, but the truth is, I've been too tense to have sex.
My mind keeps going round in circles, trying to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do. I'd like to say, "What we're going to do," but I feel like a cornered rat right now. I'm beginning to understand how B— feels and what made him run in the first place. This is fucking serious. But I can't run. And I won't. But I'm fucked if I know what I'm going to do.
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posted by Sara