The New Sense

Wednesday, September 04, 2002

Oh, fuck, it's starting again. I don't fucking believe it. B— just called me at the bar to tell me that he's found some kind of spy software on my computer at home. He thinks that Sean or someone else might have installed it when I had my break-in three weeks ago. He thinks that stealing my CD's might have been a fake robbery — that it was just to make us not suspicious if we found out someone had been in the apartment.
I don't want to believe it, but B— said he's sure. He said that all this time Sean could have been monitoring my computer. This is much worse than losing the CD's. For one thing B— thinks that Sean must be back in Montreal, as he'll have realised by now that B— isn't in T.O. For another, I feel fucking violated. I'm going to kick the shit out of that guy if I ever run into him again.
I just asked Olga if she's seen 'Vlad' recently and she said that she hadn't. Anyway, why would he need to spy on me in the bar when he can find out a whole load of more personal stuff monitoring my computer?
B— said he's deactivated the spy software, but when I get home I have to go through my files and delete whatever might be incriminating for B— (and for me, now I'm pregnant and permanently attached to B—). This sucks so fucking much. What next? I'm going to arrive home and find Sean sitting in my living room one day? I'm so fucking frustrated — everything was going so well.

Just finished cleaning up my files. I had to delete a bunch of emails, though the ones from B— I put onto diskette. I'm still fucking pissed off. Can't write more now.

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posted by Sara